Your husband comes home from work and sits down on the couch and lets out a big sigh. He turns on the TV, and grumbles “Hello” under his breath…
You walk over and say, “Hi sweetie, dinner will be done in 15 minutes...and the kids are outside. They got in a huge fight earlier and I had to break it up.”
“Okay,” he says, not hearing a word you say. You ask, “Hello? Are you listening to me? Why aren’t you paying attention when I am talking?”
You’re thinking to yourself, “Does this man even notice how hard I work?” I take care of the kids, make sure all the bills are paid, and remember all of the doctors appointments - on top of having a full time job!” This story isn’t new…
And after over a decade of researching the behaviors of men and women and coaching them towards healthy relationships, there’s something I have discovered women do that shuts men off. Can you guess what it is?
When women don’t feel heard or seen, they tell a man over and over what they want - and the man usually ignores them.
There is a better way to get him to notice you and everything you do and I am going to show you the number one thing to do when the man in your life takes you for granted.
I’ll tell you why men act the way they do and the pivotal actions you can take to turn his behavior around and get him to treat you the way he did when you first started dating. This is going to give you the secret key to unlock his dream man qualities and get him to pay attention to your needs and desires like you deserve.
Let’s get into divulging the hidden secret that will make your man never take you for granted again.
You don’t understand what happened. He used to be such a gentleman and surprise you with flowers or the occasional romantic trip. He used to put his dirty clothes into the hamper....instead of sitting them right next to it - which is utterly maddening.
But now...you come home to find him cozy on the couch with his video game headset on saying nothing but, “Hey babe, can you get me a beer?” And this is when you start to tell him off. This is a MISTAKE.
You see, the man who loves you DOES hear your frustration when you say, “You never take me out on nice dates anymore or surprise me with little gifts.” Or, “You never do anything around the house. I always have to clean the entire house myself.”
But when you complain to him, you are signaling to him that even though he doesn’t change – you will stick around.
Complaining does nothing but show him he has you right where he wants you. Because if he doesn’t put his clothes in the hamper...maybe you will nag him about it. But you aren’t going anywhere.
I know it’s not fair and certainly not mature. But men often condition women to receive less over time...and they accept it.
Suddenly, without even realizing how it happened, you are cleaning up after him like his mother AND having sex with him. He feels like he won the lottery...and you rightfully feel taken for granted.
So, what’s the best way to get him to shape up? Communicate with your ACTIONS, not your words.
If you’ve already tried to speak with him about your concerns and he continues taking you for granted by not pulling his weight around the house or giving you the attention you deserve try to pull away from him a bit without saying a word.
Instead of laying into him with criticism, take a pause and a step back.
First of all, men love a chase. If he no longer sees you acting like his mother, he may actually notice the shift and think, “Crap... something happened. I better figure out what it is .”
One of my friends, Rick, had a wife who did everything for him. She cooked big, delicious meals every night. She woke the kids up and got them dressed for school and shuffled them to their appointments. Mind you, she also worked. And one day, she had enough. Instead of blowing up on Rick (which surely he deserved), she was sly like a fox.
She simply said, “Hey babe. I know you’re probably going to be late for dinner because of work...so you should just pick something up for yourself on the way home.” “I organized a car pool with Jim (the sexy, single dad down the street) so we can take turns bringing the kids to their events.” “I hired a cleaning lady to come 5 times a week.”
After eating take out every night, watching his wife get chummy with Jim, and paying a fortune for a cleaning lady, Rick knew he had to get busy. After all, she had been acting a bit distant and it was clear that she didn’t NEED him - so he now wanted to SHOW her why she should want to be with him (or risk losing her).
All the sudden, he was happy to take the kids to their activities, help around the house, and not show up late for home cooked meals. He even decided they should have a date night once a week where they could connect and he could spoil her. After he made these changes, they have been so much happier and they are both getting what they need from the relationship.
Some women try to get a man to fall in love with her by telling him she will always be by his side. But the woman he really is attracted to? The one who acts as though she could take him or leave him.
Remember, the woman a man desires never shows him her next move. So, if he is…
Don’t start giving him a speech, just to have him tune you out. Pull back a bit - with zero complaints or any type of warning.
When he knows he is behaving badly and you don’t complain, he starts to wonder, “What’s happening? Is she not interested in me anymore?”
He now realizes you’re not wrapped around his finger. And jumps into action to fix the problem (remember, men think of themselves as fixers) - all without you saying anything.
No, it’s not.
This is a way to treat him how to treat you non-verbally. This is how you stop getting your man to having his cake and eating it too.
You already tried talking to him about the problem and it hasn’t worked.
Now, you need to focus on showing him with your actions that he isn’t going to be setting the rules for you to follow.
Nagging him looks more to him like begging...which makes him lose respect for you.
Remember, men think differently than women. To women, expressing your feelings shows vulnerability. Women see vulnerability as strength. To men, vulnerability is weakness.
That’s why when you cool off, instead of complaining, he starts to see you as an equal. He now is looking at you as his partner - not his mother.
He sees you with dignity.
Would you still want your man if he constantly was telling you what to do?
Would you think he was sexy if he said to YOU every day, “I told you to take out the trash! You never listen!” Probably not…
So, instead of complaining to him...remind him with your ACTIONS that you are a strong woman who isn’t to be messed with. Men get turned on by a woman who is just out of their reach…
If he knows you’re not going to put up with him treating you badly, he will say to himself, “This is the woman I want in my life. Forever.”
Men may like to sleep with “nice girls” who wait on their every beckon call...but they marry a strong woman who they see as their equal.
One of my clients, Caitlin, was used to getting her heart broken by guys. She would date them for a few months and do everything she could to hold their attention. She said to me, “I don’t get it. I should be every man’s fantasy! I have a good job...I cook amazing food...I clean their house...I even wear lingerie for them! And still, they never stick around. What am I doing wrong?”
And yet, everything Caitlin named off is exactly what she was doing wrong. As we have established, men will take as much as you give them unless you demand a return.
Guys didn’t date Caitlin for long because they saw her as a pushover. A good time. And for a high-quality, successful man who is used to women wanting to date him, he isn’t interested in settling down with a woman who does everything in her power to please him. He wants a woman who can hold her own. And if he takes her for granted? She knows exactly what to do so he never dares to do it again.
After working with Caitlin and showing her how men think, she landed her dream man only a few weeks later. And when he tried to condition her to receive less, she squashed the problem immediately. She didn’t nag him. She didn’t catch an attitude. She stayed relaxed and pulled away a bit...and he got to work.
They have now been together for three years and are getting married this Christmas. Remember, you already have all the qualities to attract your dream man...you just need to keep him on his toes to keep him acting like your dream man forever.
Now that you know what to do if a man takes you for granted, you’ll be able to shift the power dynamic in your relationship and get the equality you have been trying to achieve.
Remember, you deserve to be treated with love and respect. You deserve to have a partner who participates equally and pays attention to your needs.
I know you are an ambitious woman and you are trying to get a better understanding of how men think. And that’s smart. Now that you know why men act how they do – you can use this information to your advantage to improve your relationship.
If you want more valuable tips and expert advice, click here to to get access to my premium material that’s only available for private clients. It will answer your burning questions about why men act the way they do and give you an exclusive look at my step-by-step attraction system. You no longer have to guess what type of women men want – you can learn exactly how to get a high-quality man to fall in love with the amazing person you are.