Many of my clients come to me and say, “I have been dating this man for a few months and things have been going great... but I am still not sure if he is in love with me or feels the same way I do.”
If you’re in this position, you are probably frustrated not knowing where you stand in your relationship.
Maybe you’ve been over-analyzing all of your dates with a group of girlfriends in hopes of understanding how your partner feels. Or you have been anxiously tip toeing around the subject with him to no avail.
You shouldn’t have to stand on pins and needles, especially when it comes to your love life. Thanks to years of research surveying men and women worldwide, I have come up with 6 tried-and-true ways to know if a man is saying you are “the one.”
Now, it’s important to remember that men have different ways of expressing their love than women. That’s why you might not even realize it when he’s trying to show you he loves you.
Maybe your partner hasn’t yet said the phrase “I love you” but he has said it in other ways. Let’s dive into some of the surprising ways he might be showing you he is in love with you – without you even knowing it.
A man who loves you will make you a priority by spending time with you whether that is hanging out at home and watching a movie or going out on a nice date. He never makes you feel like he is penciling you into his schedule. He wants to see you often – and doesn’t just tell you that, he actually makes it happen.
Maya Angelou said, “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”
If he is in love with you, you’ll never feel like he just called you last minute to see you because his friends cancelled or because he is bored. His words will line up with his actions.
One of our clients, Emily, normally went for men who were very handsome and charming. She told us about a man she dated for 6 months named Ryan. Ryan would say everything she wanted to hear like, “You are different than other girls.” and “I love being with you.”
But every time they met up, they grabbed a quick bite and ended up back at her house where she slept with him. They laid in bed for about 15 minutes after, and then he had to rush out the door to pick up his uncle’s best friend’s girlfriend...at 10:00 PM on a Saturday night.
Emily often texted Ryan trying to make plans and he would make up excuses or even worse, agree to the plan and then cancel. She always said “yes” when he asked to hang out (even if he only asked 30 minutes before) in fear that if she didn’t she would never see him again. This is a perfect example of how Emily was an “option” to Ryan rather than a priority.
After completing my premium program, Emily met a great guy who took her on awesome dates and was eager to carve out whole chunks of his schedule just to see her. They have been together for four years and recently became engaged. Looking back, she can’t believe she ever spent so much time chasing a guy who told her everything she wanted to hear but never put her first.
If the man you are dating NEVER wants to introduce you to his friends or family, you should immediately take that as a red flag.
Someone who is in love with you will want the most important people in his life to meet you.
Not only will he want to show off how sexy, smart, and funny you are, he will want to see what they think about you. His family and friends know him the best, so he will want their opinion on if you seem like a good match.
He will feel proud to have you on his arm and he will want the world to know that you are his.
Have one of your friends (or maybe even you) dated a guy who can’t stop posting selfies and pictures of his food...and yet NEVER put up a picture of him and his girlfriend?
Unfortunately, if a man isn’t making any effort to show the world he has a girlfriend...it might be because he doesn’t want other women to know because it would ruin his chances of sleeping around.
It may seem shallow – but a man who is in love with you will make your relationship known publicly whether that is…
On my second date with my wife, I brought her to a bar where my friends were playing in a Weezer cover band. She ended up meeting a bunch of people from my social circle. I was happy that she had an opportunity to meet my friends and learn more about who I spend time with.
I didn’t post a lot on social media but I let her know that I was fine with her posting pictures of us online if she wanted to.
Remember, you need to focus on his actions – not just his words.
If he wants to be in a committed, long-term relationship with you, he will have no issue presenting you as his girlfriend to anyone who asks or you run into on the street. He will be proud he is with you.
Now, this can be a tricky one – because it can be hard for men (and women) to admit they are wrong or even take the time to look at things from a different perspective.
Men, especially ones who have been single for a long period of time, are used to doing things their own way and hate when a woman (even one they love!) offers them advice or tells them how to do something differently.
But if a man is in love with you, he will want nothing more than to make you happy. And part of making you happy and being in a healthy relationship is learning how to compromise and empathize with your partner.
If your partner loves you, he will show you he is listening to you. He will ask what he can do to resolve a fight. And he will try as hard as possible to see things from your point of view. If he is wrong, he will apologize...or sometimes even more difficult, he will bite his tongue to avoid an argument.
A man who isn’t in love with a woman will have no time for fighting. He will simply remove himself from the situation whether that is leaving the house or ghosting her altogether. But a man who is in love? He will take the time to hear you out – because you are his priority.
Personally, it’s difficult for me to hear that I’m in the wrong. My immediate visceral reaction is to just run away and avoid conflict. But I know that the longer I go without addressing the situation, the worse it gets. So if my wife and I have a disagreement, I do my best to push myself to talk it out...because that’s what she needs and that’s what ultimately resolves the situation.
Sometimes, being in a relationship and moving through conflict is uncomfortable. In past relationships, I’d just avoid dealing with conflict. But with my wife, I know that I don’t have any other options than to work through it. And I’m learning that pain can be a pathway to growth and intimacy as long as you’re committed to resolving issues instead of avoiding them.
A man who is in love with you will treat you with gifts. This can mean sweet, simple things like flowers or chocolates or more splashy items like jewelry, fancy dates, or trips.
But it can also mean gifts that don’t come in little blue boxes or wrapped with a bow. For some men, gift giving comes in the form of leaving you small love notes or standing by your side during hard times. It could mean going to long (boring) work outings with you or doing little jobs for you around the house.
My father-in-law does a great job of giving my mother-in-law gifts to show her his love. He is a surgeon and is on his feet all day long and comes home from work exhausted. But he’ll still come home and spends hours every single week cooking dinner and inviting family over to share meals because he knows how much she loves family meals. These are the gifts that show her he loves her that don’t cost a ton of extra money.
You might think it is obvious that a man is in love with you if he tells you he loves you but it’s actually not so simple.
Some men will say “I love you” to a woman as a means of getting something they want whether that is sex, money, or simply attention.
It is not enough for a man to say the three magic words. He has to prove he means what he says with his actions.
Let’s review the actions a man to take to show you he loves you:
If the man you are with is performing these actions on a consistent basis, you’ll know he is telling the truth when he tells you he is in love with you.
Now that you know how to tell if a man is in love with you, you’ll be able to understand if the man in your life is serious about your relationship and looking for a long-term commitment.
Think critically about how he does or doesn’t show his love for you in these ways.
You deserve to be loved by someone who makes you feel happy, appreciated, and special. I know you’re an ambitious woman, and you have done everything in your power to have a great life whether that be chasing your career goals, raising your family, or being a good friend to people you love.
Maybe you have spent years taking care of others and now you are taking control of your dating life. Good for you. This is your time to put yourself first and make sure the person you’re with lives up to how you deserve to be treated.
If you’ve been struggling with understanding how your partner feels, know that I am here for you and I am proud of you for taking the steps to see things from your partner’s perspective.
Most people don’t put the time and effort to consume content that improves their lives because it takes work. You are different – and that is one of the things that makes you special.
I hope with these tips help you own your power and feel fully in control of how you date and who you date.
If you got value from this article and want to access my more advanced, premium material that’s only available to my private clients, click here to learn more. You’ll get a behind-the-scenes look at my step-by-step attraction system that will help you meet a high-quality man fast.