Have you ever asked the man you’re dating, “What are you thinking about?” And he replied with, “Nothing"?
Well, it turns out, sometimes he IS thinking about something...but he just doesn’t know exactly how to tell you.
As a woman, you’re taught from a young age that expressing your emotions is healthy and normal. You are allowed to feel comfortable crying or asking for help. But for a man? Unfortunately, we are taught to bottle up our emotions...then throw that bottle in the sea and never go looking for it.
For this reason, when a man really wants something from you he often doesn’t know how or when to express it. Instead, he keeps it inside...and problems start to manifest.
Today, I’m going to peel back the layers of how men think – and help you learn how to fulfill a man’s desires so you can become his ultimate dream woman. This knowledge is going to empower you and show you exactly how to keep your man fulfilled and build a healthy, satisfying relationship. Let’s get started.
What do I mean by this? He wants a woman with strong boundaries who knows what she wants. A strong, independent woman is incredibly alluring for a man. This attitude shows she is confident and well-rounded.
She won’t put up with any BS from a man. Despite what you often see in popular media, a high-quality man isn’t looking for a doting housewife. He is looking for an equal partner who can bring just as much as he does to the table.
Men love a sassy woman who will tell him to knock it off if he starts in with her over something insignificant. Men often condition women to receive less. When a woman shows a man she won’t put up with his late-night booty calls or being treated like one of the guys - he doesn’t feel offended, he feels turned on.
He sees her as a challenge, and now he works 10x harder to be with her because she’s different than the other women he has dated.
His dream woman doesn’t beg for gifts. She isn’t self-centered or immature. His dream woman expects HIM to treat her with respect - and if he doesn’t? She will walk right out the door - and does not think twice about coming back.
A queen commands respect. This is the type of woman that men desire.
One of my friends, Tom, was dating a woman named Amelia. Amelia was a nice woman who did everything in her power to take care of Tom - even though he was a grown man who was fully capable of doing his own laundry and cooking meals for two. One day Tom and Amelia got in a big fight when she was in the middle of making dinner.
He admitted to me, he wasn’t the most respectful during the fight and wouldn’t have been surprised if she walked out the door and told him she wouldn’t be talking to him for a while. But instead? She finished cooking dinner, set a plate in front of him as he watched the game, cleaned the dishes, put them away, and then told him she would be leaving.
Tom couldn’t believe it. He told me, “She even unloaded the dishwasher. It was bad, man. It’s like she has no respect for herself...she just lets people walk all over her.” Do you see what happened here? Amelia thought she was being nice by continuing to take care of Tom even though he had disrespected her...and he thought less of her.
It can be strange for a man to have to tell a woman he’s dating, “Look, sometimes I can be out of line. Call me on it.” But this is what he really wants: a woman who knows herself, knows what she wants, and isn’t afraid of asking for it.
Personally, the last few years have been challenging and rewarding. I’m growing a coaching business, raising 2 kids...and Kathy’s due with a little boy in December.
It’s a lot...and sometimes I feel like an angsty teenager who just wants to whine.
But Kathy doesn’t let me get away with it. And for that I love her. Because she helps remind me that I’m here to be a king..not a whiny little boy. And that’s really what I want. Someone who will hold me to a higher standard and see my true potential, rather than accepting my immature actions.
Every man, even if he’s shy or analytical, has an inner warrior.
If you aren’t timid in bed, you can unleash this inner warrior and build an even stronger relationship with your partner.
What can you do to unleash this side of your man?
If you are always doing a certain position, switch things up and surprise him. Wear some seductive lingerie. Straddle him on the couch when he least expects it. These small surprises can go a long way for a man who is always expected to be the one to initiate.
If it’s your first time being intimate, let him be the one who initiates the first time you sleep together. But if you have been dating for a while or are in a relationship, come on to him sometimes. I don’t know many men who wouldn’t love to come home from work and find his girlfriend in nothing but high heels waiting for him.
Maybe it goes without saying, but I should add that he wants you to have a wild side at home but not in front of his friends or family. The fantasy here is that you can be perfectly respectful in front of everyone else...then have this wild side that’s for his eyes only. If you can master this then the man you are dating will find you irresistible.
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Both men and women want to be respected. But men especially feel a lot of pressure to be the “man.” What does this mean exactly?
Men want to have people look up to them as someone wise and giving. They want to be seen as a leader. But often, they don’t have a mentor or role model in their lives who can show them how to achieve this position.
So that’s why a lot of men look for a partner who will respect them even if they haven’t achieved this status. When I met my wife, I was working a 9-5 job in a cubicle. She was the one who pushed me to become a coach full time. She saw my potential and believed in me at a time when I didn’t believe in myself. I’ll never forget her for being my biggest cheerleader and supporter. She still is to this day.
If you lift your man up and treat him as a leader, he will work to become that person - and you’ll get to experience the payoff.
As you may know, a lot of men have big egos. And that’s not always a bad thing. The world rewards confident leaders who believe in themselves.
Something men love but would never dare to ask for is when a woman shows appreciation for what he does and strokes his ego a bit.
Here's a few ways you can do this:
If he brings over Chinese food so you can have a cozy night in say, “Thank you so much!” If you love the way he holds your hand when you walk down the street, tell him! Say, “I love when you hold my hand. I feel so comfortable with you!”
If he hangs up the Christmas lights, say, “Wow, aren’t you scared to go up that high on a ladder? You’re so brave.” If he fixes a shelf in your house, say, “Thank you so much, you are the best.” I understand women are fully capable of doing these things themselves. But men have the need to protect and care for the women in our life. When you acknowledge and praise us for this, we feel better about ourselves.
There is nothing worse for a man than going out of his way to help the woman he is dating only to get shot down for doing it wrong or not the way she wanted.
In the past, I was dating a woman and she asked me to help build a desk for her from IKEA. If you have ever built anything from IKEA before, you know it comes with vague instructions and a million random parts. After spending two hours on a Friday night building the desk, I proudly presented it to her saying, “All done! What do you think?” And her response? “Ugh, I hate the color. I think I am going to have to return it.”
I was floored. I couldn’t believe she didn’t even say “Thank you” for the time and effort I spent putting it together for her. Even if she didn’t like the color and wanted to return it, the least she could have done was show me that she appreciated my hard work - and then gone and returned it when I wasn’t around.
Something men won’t tell you is that when you criticize them for helping, they won’t want to help you again.
So, if you want him to help with something, give him a generous amount of praise afterward. This not only makes him feel appreciated, but it makes him more likely to want to do it again for you in the future. After all, making you feel good is important to him – and he feels better about himself when he does a good job of making you happy.
It’s common to want to spend a lot of time with your partner because they make you feel good. But sometimes men just need time for themselves to recharge.
Some men have a hard time telling the woman they are dating, “I just need to chill out, alone” because they are scared she will get offended or her feelings will be hurt...then they will have to deal with the aftermath.
Do yourself and your man a favor by allowing him to do his own thing without you sometimes. Men appreciate it when women encourage them to take some time for themselves. This could mean telling him to go watch the game with the boys or saying he should go fishing this weekend.
When he has some time away, it helps him feel relaxed and recharged for when he is with you. This will lead to both of you being happy, and that’s what is the most important.
Now that you know the 5 things men desire but are too embarrassed to ask for, you can hone in on these desires and show a high-quality man that you know what he wants and become his dream woman.
Now, if you’re reading this, maybe you’ve spent a good amount of time trying to understand what men really want. I know it’s difficult. Men don’t always open up to you. We don’t reveal exactly what we’re thinking or why we act a certain way. It can leave you feeling confused or frustrated. If you’ve ever felt this way, I want you to click here to view this special presentation I put together.
Basically, it’s an exposé that’s going to show you all about man’s deepest, secret desires. This is for you if you’ve ever wanted to know exactly what the high-quality men in your life are thinking and a step-by-step system to show them you are the woman they truly need to be with.
I’ve been teaching this concept to all of my clients, and now you can learn about it too. Just click here to learn more.